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Henerala

Beneath the Ice
the ICE is floating with the freezing breeze
beneath it
...the chilling stops
...the heat goes up
...the water starts to boil
for there dwells her heart.
There, the ice melt into tears...



I hate materialistic people...
I am materialistic...
...I hate myself

I don't believe in second chances

Thursday, May 26, 2005
I should be happy
Yes, it is finished. It happened just like how I fancy it to be. This is what I want, to finish it and start a new life, Or maybe continue what I have left for him. Many times have I tried. All efforts, fruitless. Now, I have finally done it. It took less time compared to my past attempts, easier.
I should be rejoicing. I am free now. I have survived something I know I can't last. I should laugh my heart out remembring what I have gone through. I should celebrate that I wont need to think of him. Of how is he, if his fine, what is he doing, does he have enough sleep... or who's with him. I should not care what he is thinking now.
It ended without me knowing it. I have just learned it this morning. Here at the office. I checked his friends list and my name was not there. oh... I can't be his friend. We broke up, the end of my suffering. I expected that I would shout and jump with joy, not caring what my officemates would think of me. But why can't I move. Only my fingers are restless. They want me to realize what I really want....what I really feel.
Where are the sounds of my laughter? My shirt has wet patches. My face is even more wet. I'm a mess. Why am I surrounded with my officemates. Of course I'm ok. I'm not sick. Wait, just let me finish with my essay.
I am happy. I love him. He is the first and I don't think that there would be a second one. I am happy that it is over and I still love him even if he hadn't love me........ I won't cry, I can hold my tears. I'ts over now.


Thursday, May 26, 2005

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